Launching Forward

The past week I’ve been reviewing my findings from Sirajganj and preparing my paper for UNDP. I can’t quite describe the experiences I’m having here. I’m seeing so much I haven’t seen before. With political activity, many are getting increasingly scared about the range of power that this regime will exert. There is talk that the military may take over more forcefully, and that our system may become like Pakistan. Some say that the government may follow the Turkish model. What is certain is much fear in the atmosphere. I didn’t quite see the effects of it before. Perhaps the most visible component is the restriction upon people’s mobility. To cut down on traffic congestion, rickshaws are forbidden from going on many roads. The government enforces this very strongly. This morning, I took a rickshaw to work. The rickshaw puller nudged a bit out of the vicinity in which rickshaws are allowed. Almost instantly an officer appeared and attempted to cut the rickshaw puller’s tires. My uncle yelled at the officer vehemently, and the rickshaw puller ran off with his rickshaw, apologizing the whole way.

This uncertain state of government has a lot of people worried. I went to Atiur Rahman’s house last week (he’s the chairman of Unnayan Shamannay). As we discussed politics, he said that through his conversations with political ministers, he is more and more worried that the military will have an imposing role in the future.

This past week, I spent my nights after work at Kushi Fupi’s, my dad’s younger sister. It was an intense week of experiences. My Chachu, Dad’s older brother, has been missing for the past 30 years. During the liberation war in 1971, he was severely tortured, and a few months after that no one heard from him again. Then a few months ago, one of my Dad’s relatives spotted him, contacted him, and now he is back in our lives. He was at my Fupi’s this past week too. It was interesting to talk to someone who had such a huge role in my Dad’s life. It’s funny, as much as I love my parents and consciously try to learn as much about their lives as I can, they surprise me. My Fupa told me stories of my dad’s family when they lived in Gopalganj. This uncle who disappeared was the hub of the family; and once he left Dad became the caretaker of everyone. I wonder so much about that part of his life, about what it meant to him.

The flood season has affected everyone here. We see news of the destruction in the North. People are somewhat comforted that the government has taken action to provide relief and seems to be well-organized. Last night, we stayed up sharing flood stories (well I was listening). My Api told me about all the years they raised their furniture, and dodged snakes. She told me lots of funny anecdotes as well. Fupi also told me stories of their life during the liberation war. She said once, their entire family traveled for 8 hours to the inner village to escape the army. Once they reached the village, the next morning the army invaded that village, and they traveled back. This was the way Bangladesh achieved independence, she said.

The details she shared with me will stay with me forever. There are things I am seeing here I will never forget. I am pleased with the NGO work so far. This project on localizing the MDGs has shown me a lot about the nature of research and advocacy on the local level. Though I have many limitations in this aspect, I’m learning a lot, and I don’t think that can be a loss in any way. Tomorrow we travel to Patuakhali, for a 3 day site visit to another of the local MDG Unions. This union is rather organized in its MDG activities, and us field researchers will have the opportunity to interview the chairman and committee members in-depth. I look forward to learning as much as I can and seeing what this looks like. I move forward with an open mind, and an undying need to know what is happening. This is so much closer to what I’ve wanted to do than anything I’ve ever done before. I’m new to this, I have tons to learn, and I’ve found something I won’t let go of. And so I take a deep breath, gear myself up, and look forward.